Resting in the in between
When resting in Love and joy is essential for resisting injustice...
Hello friend,
Nearly every conversation I’ve had with a companion in spiritual direction these past few weeks has started with an expression of just how weary they are feeling.
There is a weariness right now that seems to go beyond the normal seasonal dip at this time of year. It’s a bone-deep exhaustion as we continue to resist empire on so many levels - globally, in our church institutions, and in the many ways it sneaks into our own hearts and minds.
I’m especially hearing three big themes named over and over: the struggle and oppression of LGBTQ+ persons (and their families and communities), the continued safeguarding issues in church institutions and beyond, and the continued and all-too-fast destruction of our natural world. And these are just the most common three in my conversations right now.
Resisting empire is costly. It demands our time, our mental awareness, our financial support. We risk triggering deep insecurities and traumas within our own stories when we stand alongside others in danger. We are asked to do the hard work of untangling our own privileges and the ways we have been blind to our participation. And our hearts receive so many hits as relationships we had trusted are lost or damaged as others chose to align with power and fear rather than Love.
It’s ok - vital actually - to name the cost even as we know we can’t in all integrity choose another path.
And it’s also vital that we learn how to care for ourselves - and yes, this goes well beyond the fake-selfcare of capitalism where everything can be solved by a purchase.
My favourite book on activism and spirituality is Valerie Kaur’s See No Stranger. (I would absolutely recommend it - find it in your local library or buy it from an independent bookshop). She writes:
“You don’t have to make yourself suffer in order to serve.
You don’t have to grind your bones into the ground.
You don’t have to cut your life up into pieces and give yourself away
until there is nothing left.
You belong to a community and a broader movement.
Your life has value. We need you alive.
We need you to last. You will not last if you are not breathing.”
What does it look like to recognise the cost of resistance and choose to love and care for ourselves in the midst of it?
Selfcare is community care. As Valerie Kaur goes on to write: “Loving ourselves happens in community”. So many of us feel alone when we are far from it. Injustice thrives on perpetuating isolation. Sometimes the loudest voices we can hear are those of empire, but the whispers of the resistance are myriad and strong. Look for ways to connect with others - with friends, church networks, activist groups. Ask for help when you need it, and be intentional about checking in with those around you. You are not alone.
Choose joy. We can feel so guilty for letting ourselves experience pleasure and delight in the midst of so much suffering, but allowing ourselves to feel joy is essential. Kaur says, “Joy returns us to everything good and beautiful and worth fighting for. It gives us energy for the long labor.” Begin to notice the moments of delight and joy in your day - gather them up like daisies. Make this your primary spiritual practice.
Pay attention to your rhythms of rest. We are not served by you burning out. Just like the moon waxes and wanes, just as God modelled for us a Sabbath day of rest, we are meant to live within healthy rhythms (and those rhythms are meant to also be practiced together!). Consider what real rest looks like - for your body, your mind, your heart and your spirit.
Let yourself be rooted in Love. I still believe religion has a role to play for good in the world, despite so much evidence to the contrary. Part of the invitation then is to draw from the parts of our tradition that are deeply rooted in Love. People of faith have been part of the resistance since day one. How do we learn from their wisdom, their persistence, their compassion? What practices from your tradition can be reclaimed and reimagined for such a time as this?
I don’t mean to make it sound easy - there’s something about a numbered list like this that can feel as frustrating as it is encouraging. The reality of resisting injustice is often exhausting, frustrating and disheartening. But we are not alone. And I deeply believe that this is the heart of God for the world.
Later this month, my dear friend Debbie and I are hosting an online retreat called “resting in the in between”. It is for all kinds of liminal spaces we might find ourselves in, but as I was reflecting on it today, I realised I wanted to particularly invite those of you who need to rest in the midst of your resisting - to have someone hold a sacred pause for you when nothing is as it should be and the end might not be in sight.
We are gathering online on Sunday February 23rd, 19:30-21:30 (UK time) and will use poems, prayers and ancient wisdom to help us reflect both individually and in small groups. This will be a gentle and open space, and I hope it will meet you in your own in-between.
You can register here (and payment is tiered to make it accessible).
P.S. There is a lot in my diary the next few months, so here’s a quick update of where else you can connect with me:
I’ll be in Coventry Diocese on 1st March running a training for their spiritual directors network. If you are local, you can contact their organisers to find out more.
The following day, on Sunday 2nd March, I’m excited to host my first Scripture Circle in Warwick, hosted by Lissy Clarke. You are so welcome to join us if you are local. Find out more and register here.
The first of two spring retreats I’m leading will be at the Othona Community in Essex from 4-6 April. We’ll be exploring the wild edges of our faith in that beautiful ancient sacred space. More info here.
And of course, I cannot wait to return to Iona on the first weekend of May with Debbie, to host the in-between retreat. We have just three spots remaining, so do get in touch if you’re considering coming. We’d love to have you! Here’s the link.
Finally, I do currently have some availability for spiritual direction (online or in person in Copenhagen), 1-2-1 supervision for spiritual directors, or coaching for spiritual directors. Get in touch if you’d like to explore any of those options!